Saturday, April 9, 2011

Hello, Murphy. Now Get Out!

The day actually started out pretty normally.  I dropped off the girls at the bus stop, and talked with one of the neighbors while we waited for the school bus.  Then, I took off for work, knowing I would not have a lot of time to get stuff done.  I had a seminar in the afternoon, so that left me a half a day to get some work off my desk.

I barely made it out of the street and into one of the main roads when the truck ran out of gas.  Now, before you wag your finger, the gas gauge does not work, but I had figured out gas consumption, so I thought I was safe.  However, one unplanned trip was unaccounted for and I ended up about two blocks short.  I know... bad planning.  The truck stopped in the middle of the road.  During rush hour.  I'm going to be late for work, and now the whole city hates me.

I got out and started to push.  Thankfully, I was helped by three other motorists, who pushed me into a nearby parking lot.  I got out and hoofed it over to the gas station about two blocks away.  At least it wasn't raining.  I get the gas and head back to the truck. 

I start pouring the gas, and after a few seconds, my pants leg feels cold.  Yep.  The gas has been dripping down the can and onto my pants.  Great.  I set the gas can in the truck and head to the gas station to fill up.  Then, off to work, with my gas pants.

At about 11:30a, I head out to the seminar with one of our other attorneys.  It's my turn to drive.  At least I know I have plenty of gas.  We open the doors to the truck and are greeted by the smell of gas.  Great.  I left the gas can in the truck.  Looks like we'll be heading down to the seminar with the windows down.  At least it's not raining.

Now, when I attend a seminar, I typically dress down.  I've never really had an issue with that.  Today, I'm dressed in blue jeans (with the special gasoline scent) and a polo shirt.  I walk into the seminar, and there's about 160 other attorneys and judges.  I'm the only one dressed casual.  I'm fitting in like a milk bucket under a bull.  Great.

I pick my seat, as usual, near the back.  I set down my seminar notebook, my phone, and go get a glass of water.  I'm not sure if the ice was an extra charge, but I can't find any.  I take my warm water and sit down.  I turn to the side to talk to an attorney, when I see it coming.

Another attorney is walking up the row in front of me, and she's carrying a large purse.  This thing is huge!  I think she's carrying her car and probably a paralegal in this thing.  She carefully threads her way closer.  She swings around to greet someone else, and before I can react, her purse comes around and nails my glass of water like a bowling ball in the pocket. The cup falls over with a vengeance and spills all of the water onto my notebook, on my phone, and all over the table cloth in front of me.  Great.  She never notices, and happily takes her seat.  Now, other attorneys are filing in, looking at me, and wondering if I'm incapable of drinking water without making a mess.  Thanks.  My notebook has a color cover, and the color's now starting to run.  The papers are wrinkling, and I'm hoping my phone survives.  Now, I can't find my pen, so I won't even be able to take notes on my soggy paper.

I finally make it out without further embarassment and we drive back to the office.  I decide to put in some extra time to try and catch up.  I get engrossed in my work, and don't leave the office until 6:45p.  I head home, grab dinner, and finally get to sit down.  At about 7:15p, my cell phone rings.  I answer.  I'm supposed to be at a meeting about 20 minutes away.  The meeting was supposed to start at 6p, but it was delayed an hour.  Now ready to start, they have been waiting for me.  Great. 

Other than that, it was actually a pretty uneventful day.


Murphy's Law said...

Than ks for reminding me why I quit being a lawyer! LOL!!!
Personally, I never would have made it past the attorneyette knocking my water over. I'd have gone off right there. But I've definitely had my fill of: "OMG!! I'm supposed to have been somewhere 15 minutes ago!!!"
Better you than me.

Lawyer said...

Well, I started to, but she was actually speaking to two judges, one of which was the chief judge of the circuit court. At that point, I figured discretion was the better part of valor. Besides, with my dress code violations and Eau de BP, I was trying not to be noticed.