Friday, March 11, 2011

Stylish?

As I mentioned yesterday, Shepherd K tagged me with the Stylish Blogger Award.  So, as a result of my award, you get seven things you may not know about me.  In no particular order, and with absolutely no significance at all, here you go.  Enjoy!

1. I’m an introvert. It really wasn’t until about halfway into the tenth grade that I figured out that if I wanted friends, I needed to be a friend. Even so, I’m still slow to open up.  I have a lot of friends, but only a few very close friends.  Those, I can count on one hand, and still have fingers to spare.  Those friends have the right to challenge who I am and what I do.  They are close friends because they have been there when I have walked in the darkness, and I have tried to do the same for them  They have been better friends to me than I have been to them, but they still hang around.  I consider them close friends, because when they say something, I have to listen, even if I don't want to. They have that effect, and do not ask for permission before correcting me if necessary.  For reasons of accountability, they are all guys, and they know who they are.  The very best friend I have is my wife.  I have no other female friends that are any closer than just good friends.  And my wife knows about them all.

2. My first name is the same as the main character in a 800+ page book. As far back as I remembered, all the adults I ran into told me that.  So, out of curiousity, I read that entire, unabridged, book before I was 10.  I've pretty much been a reader since then.  Even now, I still get people who ask me if I've read the book.  Maybe it's time for a refresher.

3. My parents were pretty much anti-gun when I was growing up. I have no reasonable explanation as to why I turned into a gun nut.  As far as I know, I wasn't dropped on my head as a kid (although, if true, that would explain A LOT!!)  I started with BB-guns when I was old enough to buy them, but did not purchase my first gun until I was out of law school.  It's all been down(up?)hill since then.

4. I’m a nerd, and proud of it.  At one point, in junior high school, I had the set (taped-up glasses, pocket protector, and braces). Not proud of that so much.  Now, I try not to look nerdish, with mixed results.

5.  For those of you who took driver's ed in high school, remember that one kid who was making all the mistakes?  Forgetting to put the car in park before opening the door to get out?  Getting nicknames such as Cone Killer?  Yeah, that was me.  I was probably the worst driver's ed student in the class, if not the whole school.  Thankfully, I never cause any permanent damage.  I guess I turned out alright, though.  Over the past almost 23 years of driving, I've had four tickets--two speeding tickets, one for a dead headlight, and one for a dead license plate light.  My last ticket was almost 15 years ago.

6.  Because I am bilingual (Spanish and English), I get clients who do not speak English.  Although I encourage them to learn the language, I have to take them as they come.  Twice now, during court hearings involving Spanish language translators, I have mixed up my languages and tried to conduct my portion of the hearing in Spanish.  Interestingly, judges do not see any humor in that.

7.  I like to plan my practical jokes.  Once, when I was a meat cutter, one of the fellow cutters had a sore throat and was walking around with a bottle of red chloraseptic.  Apparently not sure how to use it, he kept spraying the rest of us (in our white meat coats).  After this had gone on for some time, and we all had red spots on our coats, he put down the chloraseptic and headed out to the sales floor to get some real work done.

While he was outside, I walked back to the inventory manager, who was processing damaged goods, and I asked her if she had two particular items that were damaged.  God was smiling on me because she handed me the very two items I needed.  Both were unopened.  One had a damaged label, the other was a multipack of four that was missing two but had the one I needed.  I grabbed the chloraseptic and my two items, slinked over to an empty workroom, and got to work.  I poured out the chloraseptic into a cup, and set it aside (no need to waste good medicine).  I got another cup and poured some vinegar (item 1) into it.  Then, I got a vial of red food coloring (item 2) and began to add it drop by drop until it matched the color of the medicine.  I then poured the vinegar into the chloraseptic bottle, primed the pump, and set it back where it had been.

Our intrepid meat cutter came in with another employee, singing the praises of chloraseptic.  To demonstrate, he grabbed the medicine, opened wide, and quickly squirted a couple of times.  The spasms, gagging, coughing, stumbling, cursing, etc... was well worth the minimal effort.

Well, that's all I got.  If you were hoping for something a bit more intellectual today, please try the blogs listed on the left.  Actually, I almost decided to give up my identity as number seven on the list, but I don't think I'm ready just yet.  My law partner wants me to announce his candidacy on my blog, so that may still happen.  We'll see.

As always, thanks for stopping by!

No comments: