Friday, February 18, 2011

Not All Here

She's giggling.

Now, as I have mentioned before, I don't practice happy law.  So, having a potential client come in giggling is not normal.  Then again, I'm not normal either, so I'm willing to overlook this.

She sits in the conference room and laughs at the furniture.  Now, we don't have high end furniture, but it's certainly not old or outdated.  I happen to like it, just not enough to be offended.  She can't quite say why the furniture strikes her as funny.

Soooo ... um ... let's get this started.  We go over her legal matter.  It's like trying to pin down a room full of ferrets.  Just when I think I have her attention, we're off in another direction.  I explain what we can do for her and how we can help.  Then, we get to the fees.  Here's my fees, and here's how much I need to get started.

She asks, "What am I putting the money down for?"

"Well, to retain us," I said.

"Retain you for what?"

"Ummm...to handle your legal matter."  Is she serious?

"Oh, ok.  So, what would you guys do?"

I start looking around for the cameras.  This has to be some kind of joke.  I once again explain what we will do for her.  It's actually not a complicated case.  She may be complicated, but her case is not.

"Oooohhhh. Ok!  What do I need to do to get started?"

Wow.  "Here's the amount of the retainer we will need.  Once you pay that we can get started."

[She pauses]  "Wait a minute, what's the money for?"

I'm done.  "You know, I think you should go home and think about this some more.  Thanks for coming by!  I'll let you gather your things together, ok!  The exit is down the hall to your right."

Let me outta here!

I would stay away from the conference room, folks.  She might still be in there wondering where I've run off to.

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