Monday, May 11, 2009

Visitor

When I woke up this morning and went downstairs, I was met by a huge cricket. He just barely glanced my way, grunted something, and headed for the bathroom. I think he had one of my gun mags under his arm (leg?) and looked like he would be a while.

It's bad enough that I do not like crickets at all, but trying to beat me to the bathroom in the morning is unacceptable.

I had to kill him.

4 comments:

Bob S. said...

I'm surprised that a lawyer would make such an incriminating statement. His family may eventually sue...I think the correct sentiment was you were just trying to stop him. Unfortunately, that resulted in his untimely death.

Of course, you could avoid lawsuits by just killing all his family also :)

Lawyer said...

Ok...I know it's my fault for reading my Blackberry during a meeting, but your comment made me laugh out loud.

armed_and_christian said...

Crickets never bothered me. My wife, however, shares your sentiment and has been known to send me into all parts of the house to track down and remove (with extreme prejudice) any noise-making crickets who decide to "serenade" in the wee hours of the morning.

P.S. If the family of the cricket you encountered opts to press charges, just remember to say that you used the minimum amount of force necessary to contain the situation.

Lawyer said...

I don't know what it is, but I just can't handle crickets. I will stay up and search until they are located and "neutralized."

Oh, and for the record, that cricket pointed something at me.