Thursday, January 15, 2009

Speaking with the Police


Little Big City PD-Homicide, this is Tired Detective...

Hello, I'm Lawyer With a Gun. I've been retained to represent Mr. I.M Freakinout, who is a person of interest in the homicide of Kind Grandfather. It's my under . . .


Detective: He must have something to hide.

Lawyer: . . . standing that . . . excuse me?!

Detective: I said he must have something to hide.

Lawyer: What makes you think that?

Detective: Well, he went out and got himself a lawyer. Why would he do that if wasn't guilty?

Lawyer: Oh, I don't know...maybe he thinks it's his right or something. Personally, I just think he's being smart and protecting himself. No different than what you would do, I imagine. What's the concern?

Detective: Well, he's the deceased's grandson and the victim was found in his apartment by ...

**my turn to interrupt**

Lawyer: ...him, I know. It's a high rise, with high crime. And the door was kicked in.

Detective: We just want to ask him a few questions. It won't take long.

Lawyer: You've already met with him twice. He's been very cooperative, but now he's concerned that you guys want to see him again, so he came to see us. So...what can we do for you?

Detective: I still don't see why he needs a lawyer. I'll have to give you a call back.

Lawyer: Sure thing! Here's my number ...



You know the kicker to my true story above? Some weeks later, they arrested someone else, in possession of the victim's items. He confessed to committing the crime and was convicted.

My client was never bothered again.

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